Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
March 12, 2010
I Watch Twilight and Scott Pilgrim Trailers and React
Warning: There is no screaming or nudity in this video.
UPDATE: I watched the "Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World" trailer to give things an even fight (stuff many girls are crazy about against stuff many guys are crazy about). It is below. There is also no screaming or nudity in this video.
September 16, 2009
Brawl Cat: A Photo Essay
Meet Jane. She is a cat.
Sometimes she has friends over. Her friends are often naked. And drunk.
Sometimes her naked friends ramble on and suddenly pass out.
This display of low self-esteem angers Jane. She expects more from her friends.
FACE BITE!
Ashamed at her display of violence, Jane cries herself to sleep.
May 27, 2009
Delicate Etiquette
I was reading a cool blog/website called "The Art of Manliness" and came across a post that listed a bunch of etiquette rules from a book called "Hill’s Manual of Social and Business Forms" published in 1880. (Read the full post here.)
The article lists a ton of examples of things a gentleman in 1880 was to do or not to do. Below I have listed a few of my favorites with commentary in italics where possible:
The article lists a ton of examples of things a gentleman in 1880 was to do or not to do. Below I have listed a few of my favorites with commentary in italics where possible:
- Never exaggerate. Oops. I always exaggerate about everything.
- Never laugh at the misfortunes of others. Sorry, it's kind of how I make part of my living.
- Never give a promise that you do not fulfill. Gulp.
- Never send a present, hoping for one in return. This is why I don't send presents.
- Never speak much of your own performances. Instead, ask people how you did.
- Never fail to be punctual at the time appointed. Guilty.
- Never make yourself the hero of your own story. We all know this guy, right?
- Never fail to give a polite answer to a civil question.
- Never question a child about family matters. Especially our children. They know too much.
- Never present a gift saying that it is of no use to yourself. Sorry I gave you that copy of "Jack" directed by Francis Ford Coppola.
- Never call attention to the features or form of anyone present. Bella ...
- Never associate with bad company. Have good company, or none. Poison or Warrant is, however, just fine.
- Never look over the shoulder of another who is reading or writing. Aidan ...
- Never appear to notice a scar, deformity, or defect of anyone present. Bella and Aidan ...
- Never punish your child for a fault to which you are addicted yourself. If I can't say bitchface, then you can't say bitchface.
- Never answer questions in general company that have been put to others. Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!
- Never, when traveling abroad, be over boastful in praise of your own country. U-S-A, U-S-A!
- Never attempt to draw the attention of the company constantly upon yourself. Have you ever been in a room full of theater students?
- Never exhibit anger, impatience or excitement, when an accident happens. Impossible not to do one of these things. Do YouTube accidents count? (Thanks, Eric, for the link.)
- Never enter a room noisily; never fail to close the door after you, and never slam it.
- Never will a gentleman allude to conquests which he may have made with ladies.
- Never fail to offer the easiest and best seat in the room to an invalid, an elderly person, or a lady.
- Never give all your pleasant words and smile to strangers. The kindest words and the sweetest smiles should be reserved for home. Home should be our heaven. Amen.
April 27, 2009
April 24, 2009
February 26, 2009
Some Acting Tips
The first in a series of my (sarcastic?) musings on acting.
What are some of your acting/auditioning observations and tips? I'll include them with commentary in my next post.
October 29, 2008
Video Highlight: Urban Legend Tribute
I love scary stories, urban legends and slasher movies. And my wife and I made a music video that is a tribute to all three.
Amelia and I were happy to work together to plan, shoot, make-out and stay up late to make this thing come together. Amelia came up with the song, concept and costumes, of course. We shot it by ourselves using available light and stacks of books, chairs, tool boxes and the hood of our car for a tripod. I then quickly had to learn how to use iMovie and edit it together. For what it is, I think it's fun and perfect for Halloween. Enjoy? Watch it and tell me if you get it. (Lyrics posted below the video window.)
This is not the first time -- you tried to get away
This is not a party -- where people know your name
This is not a classroom -- with teacher at the board
This is not a cat show -- with prizes at the door
Chorus
Go -- don't you go
Won't you stay with me one more day
If we get through one more night
If we get through one more night
This is not a horse race -- where winners beat the time
This is not a funeral -- with mourners in a line
This is not a sitcom -- where everything's alright
This is not a prison -- with terror through the night.
Chorus, etc.
Happy Halloween, readers!
Amelia and I were happy to work together to plan, shoot, make-out and stay up late to make this thing come together. Amelia came up with the song, concept and costumes, of course. We shot it by ourselves using available light and stacks of books, chairs, tool boxes and the hood of our car for a tripod. I then quickly had to learn how to use iMovie and edit it together. For what it is, I think it's fun and perfect for Halloween. Enjoy? Watch it and tell me if you get it. (Lyrics posted below the video window.)
This is not the first time -- you tried to get away
This is not a party -- where people know your name
This is not a classroom -- with teacher at the board
This is not a cat show -- with prizes at the door
Chorus
Go -- don't you go
Won't you stay with me one more day
If we get through one more night
If we get through one more night
This is not a horse race -- where winners beat the time
This is not a funeral -- with mourners in a line
This is not a sitcom -- where everything's alright
This is not a prison -- with terror through the night.
Chorus, etc.
Happy Halloween, readers!
September 5, 2008
Video Highlight: What's Darth Vader's Favorite Treat?
My daughter made this joke up one day. We asked her to tell it again here. She's four and already way more funny than I.
August 22, 2008
7 Good Movies with the Number 7 in the Title
Let me start by saying that this a fluff piece. An opinion post. Not a masterpiece of investigative journalism or film criticism. These are my thoughts and I put them here to entertain. Feel free to disagree with my choices in the comments.
7. "Seven Years in Tibet" (1997)
Long. Slow. Bad accent. This film had problems. But I still liked it a lot at the time. It is a gorgeous looking movie and even if Pitt's performance is not his best ever, his off movies are better than a lot of people's good movies.
6. "The Magnificent Seven" (1960)
I just watched this again because it was on AMC. It still holds up as a great Western. That may be because it's based on another movie on this list or perhaps because Steve McQueen, James Coburn and Charles Bronson are three of the baddest mofos in film history. I enjoy it every time I watch it.
5. "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" (1937)
Snow White, as a person, is as dumb as a pack of retarded cigarettes. What she does both in the fable and in the movie is inexcusable. For her the old motto seems to be "Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice though, I trust everyone." Her idiocy aside, the movie is a warm-hearted and remarkable feat of cinema and animation. And that peddler woman the Queen turns into still gives me the heebie-jeebies.
4. "The Seven-Year Itch" (1955)
Marilyn Monroe never screwed up a comedy. Only people's marriages. This movie is the one where she stands over the thing that blows up her dress (and I don't mean JFK).
3. "Star Trek: Generations" (1994)
OK, so I cheated here. There is no number 7 in the title. But the working title was Star Trek 7 and many basement-dwellers refer to it as such to this day. Moving on, I prefer Picard, his series and his movies to Kirk's (although Wrath of Kahn is damn good and Spock is essentially the face of Star Trek through enternity). This film is a crossover of sorts that contains members of Kirk-era Star Trek as well as the Picard crew. What I love about this movie is seeing both icons on the screen together fighting for good. It's an action-packed Sci-fi treat. It scores high on this list because of the nostalgia but it really is a fun film.
2. "The Seven Samurai" (1954)
Took me a long time to finally rent this classic. But I did a few years ago and it was worth it. Much like "The Magnificent Seven" except with less guns and more swords. Why is it better? Because swords are more badass than guns. Anyone can fire a gun. I'll stick my neck out there and say that it's better directed too. That Kurosawa guy knows his stuff.
1. "Se7en" (1995)
If I had to name one movie from my adult life that had the biggest effect on me, I would have to pick Se7en. It caused me to fall in love with and religiously follow the work of director David Fincher. It caused me to fall in love with Brad Pitt (I don't care what you say), and it caused me to seriously look at and analyze the medium of film like I never had before. Sure I had seen my share of movies up until then and given my opinion, even thought I knew exactly what kind of movie I liked and what made a movie great but, after I left the theater and over the years, Se7en has stayed with me like nothing else. And it's not because I am a creepy serial killer with misguided ethical morés. It's because it is impossible not to feel heartbreak and hope simultaneously for these characters. It is impossible not to get caught up in the chase for the villain. To admire how good the film looks and how Fincher sets up the perfect atmosphere for every single scene. And to be destroyed by the finale. Watch it and TRY not to care in some way about what you see. I dare you.
BONUS: The Worst Movie with Seven in the Title
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954)
One of my least favorite movies of all time for multiple reasons. And I really like movie musicals. They just have to make me feel something more than hate for every single person on screen and not be boring. Sorry if that's not much of a reason but ... watch it again and tell me that it isn't offensive either cinematically, kairologically or personally. Bless my beautiful hide, it is.
What are your thoughts on these gems? Did I miss any? Did I get something wrong in your eyes? Let me know in the comments. Oh, and Digg this (or any of my list posts) if you like it.
7. "Seven Years in Tibet" (1997)
Long. Slow. Bad accent. This film had problems. But I still liked it a lot at the time. It is a gorgeous looking movie and even if Pitt's performance is not his best ever, his off movies are better than a lot of people's good movies.
6. "The Magnificent Seven" (1960)
I just watched this again because it was on AMC. It still holds up as a great Western. That may be because it's based on another movie on this list or perhaps because Steve McQueen, James Coburn and Charles Bronson are three of the baddest mofos in film history. I enjoy it every time I watch it.
5. "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" (1937)
Snow White, as a person, is as dumb as a pack of retarded cigarettes. What she does both in the fable and in the movie is inexcusable. For her the old motto seems to be "Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice though, I trust everyone." Her idiocy aside, the movie is a warm-hearted and remarkable feat of cinema and animation. And that peddler woman the Queen turns into still gives me the heebie-jeebies.
4. "The Seven-Year Itch" (1955)
Marilyn Monroe never screwed up a comedy. Only people's marriages. This movie is the one where she stands over the thing that blows up her dress (and I don't mean JFK).
3. "Star Trek: Generations" (1994)
OK, so I cheated here. There is no number 7 in the title. But the working title was Star Trek 7 and many basement-dwellers refer to it as such to this day. Moving on, I prefer Picard, his series and his movies to Kirk's (although Wrath of Kahn is damn good and Spock is essentially the face of Star Trek through enternity). This film is a crossover of sorts that contains members of Kirk-era Star Trek as well as the Picard crew. What I love about this movie is seeing both icons on the screen together fighting for good. It's an action-packed Sci-fi treat. It scores high on this list because of the nostalgia but it really is a fun film.
2. "The Seven Samurai" (1954)
Took me a long time to finally rent this classic. But I did a few years ago and it was worth it. Much like "The Magnificent Seven" except with less guns and more swords. Why is it better? Because swords are more badass than guns. Anyone can fire a gun. I'll stick my neck out there and say that it's better directed too. That Kurosawa guy knows his stuff.
1. "Se7en" (1995)
If I had to name one movie from my adult life that had the biggest effect on me, I would have to pick Se7en. It caused me to fall in love with and religiously follow the work of director David Fincher. It caused me to fall in love with Brad Pitt (I don't care what you say), and it caused me to seriously look at and analyze the medium of film like I never had before. Sure I had seen my share of movies up until then and given my opinion, even thought I knew exactly what kind of movie I liked and what made a movie great but, after I left the theater and over the years, Se7en has stayed with me like nothing else. And it's not because I am a creepy serial killer with misguided ethical morés. It's because it is impossible not to feel heartbreak and hope simultaneously for these characters. It is impossible not to get caught up in the chase for the villain. To admire how good the film looks and how Fincher sets up the perfect atmosphere for every single scene. And to be destroyed by the finale. Watch it and TRY not to care in some way about what you see. I dare you.
BONUS: The Worst Movie with Seven in the Title
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954)
One of my least favorite movies of all time for multiple reasons. And I really like movie musicals. They just have to make me feel something more than hate for every single person on screen and not be boring. Sorry if that's not much of a reason but ... watch it again and tell me that it isn't offensive either cinematically, kairologically or personally. Bless my beautiful hide, it is.
What are your thoughts on these gems? Did I miss any? Did I get something wrong in your eyes? Let me know in the comments. Oh, and Digg this (or any of my list posts) if you like it.
August 20, 2008
July 19, 2008
Art Class
Bella is painting this afternoon. First she wanted me to pose. I couldn't hold still enough for her. Then she looks at me and says, "I'm painting you as a Japanese person. And I'm a Japanese girl. A long time ago you were a Japanese person."
Now she is making me pose like this:
And this:
Here is the finished product:
Discuss.
Now she is making me pose like this:
And this:
Here is the finished product:
Discuss.
June 26, 2008
Rejected Titles for the Friday the 13th Film Series
Friday the 13th Part XI: Jason and the Argonauts
Friday the 13th Part XII: Jason Takes Manhattan ... Shopping!
Friday the 13th Part 13: Lucky 13
Friday the 13th Part Cherokee
Saturday the 14th: A Special Day, the Day We Get Ready for Sunday
Jason Goes to KFC: The Final Final Friday
Alien vs. Jason vs. Predator
Lakers vs. Jason
Roe vs. Jason
Jason vs. the State of California
Abbott and Costello Meet Jason (Wherein Abbott and Costello Are Zombies)
The Bride of Jason
The Life-Partner of Jason
Friday the 13th Part XII: Jason Takes Manhattan ... Shopping!
Friday the 13th Part 13: Lucky 13
Friday the 13th Part Cherokee
Saturday the 14th: A Special Day, the Day We Get Ready for Sunday
Jason Goes to KFC: The Final Final Friday
Alien vs. Jason vs. Predator
Lakers vs. Jason
Roe vs. Jason
Jason vs. the State of California
Abbott and Costello Meet Jason (Wherein Abbott and Costello Are Zombies)
The Bride of Jason
The Life-Partner of Jason
May 20, 2008
Video Highlight: I Want My Crisps
Oh, and we (The Thrillionaires' Cheap Thrills) have show tonight. 8 pm. $5. Covey Center in Provo. coveycenter.org
Please come. We just might break into song also.
April 23, 2008
Video Highlight: Art of Words
I have recently been gaining interest in typography. Wake up! Stay with me. Ok ... It's probably because of my job. I am trying to gain more skills and knowledge as to make myself more valuable to the company and a knowledge of this will help, I think.
But I stumbled across some great You Tube videos like this one that take audio from movies and TV shows, etc. and using only type, fonts, movement, design and other technical terms I don't know, make them as entertaining, if not more, than the original piece they are based on.
Here's the classic "Who's On First?" from Abbot and Costello. Check it.
But I stumbled across some great You Tube videos like this one that take audio from movies and TV shows, etc. and using only type, fonts, movement, design and other technical terms I don't know, make them as entertaining, if not more, than the original piece they are based on.
Here's the classic "Who's On First?" from Abbot and Costello. Check it.
March 19, 2008
February 29, 2008
An Almost Diablo Cody Sighting and Why I Need to Get Out More
I was up in SLC for an audition for High School Musical 3 yesterday. I read for Junkyard Attendant and I think I nailed it. So when you see High School Musical 3 and I'm not in it, I want you all to look at who is the Junkyard Attendant and say to yourselves "I bet Brett would have been way better at delivering that one line." OK?
But that's not the exiting part. And here is why getting out of the office for lunch and/or auditions is always a good thing. After the audition, I went to an old favorite lunch spot of mine on 4oo E Broadway called Greek Souvlaki No. 1 for a gyro. While I was waiting for my food I heard the following conversation from two people at the table next to me:
Scruffy twenty-something guy (STG): "Girls are all sluts."
The mom or, perhaps, psychologist (MoP): "Don't say that."
STG: "They are! And I don't f---king want to get involved with any of them, ever again, because they all want the same thing."
MoP: "And what is that?"
STG: "Sex. That's all they think about or talk about. And I f---king don't care about that stuff in my relationships; I like to actually build a relationship on other things. But the conversation always f---king comes back to sex!"
MoP: "Isn't that a part of building the relationship?"
STG: "No! Because I don't want to f---king have sex with people I actually like. I only have sex with people I hate, people I f---king despise, so that I can just be done with it ..."
MoP: "Well ... I don't ... uh ... are you going to try to work things out with Lori?"
STG: "No, I'm never going to talk to that (b-word) again. We're done."
Silence.
MoP: "OK, well, we should get going."
Mind you, the conversation was not hushed. It was the loudest conversation in the restaurant. Louder than anything there, the dishes, the grill, the ambient music, everything. It was impossible to hear anything else. C-R-A-Z-Y.
What is so strange is how he almost had a healthy view of relationships, you know? It's not a bad idea to develop the relationship first before getting physical. About 99% of the time it's the best idea. But then he is also going out and seeking sex from women he knows he will despise and thinks all women are promiscuous. That's the disturbed and unhealthy part (in case you were wondering). I bet you I could write a screenplay based on this guy and get David Fincher to direct it.
In the same restaurant I saw a Diablo Cody doppleganger and was so close to congratulating her on her Oscar. I should have but, then again, I only like to congratulate people I really really hate.
But that's not the exiting part. And here is why getting out of the office for lunch and/or auditions is always a good thing. After the audition, I went to an old favorite lunch spot of mine on 4oo E Broadway called Greek Souvlaki No. 1 for a gyro. While I was waiting for my food I heard the following conversation from two people at the table next to me:
Scruffy twenty-something guy (STG): "Girls are all sluts."
The mom or, perhaps, psychologist (MoP): "Don't say that."
STG: "They are! And I don't f---king want to get involved with any of them, ever again, because they all want the same thing."
MoP: "And what is that?"
STG: "Sex. That's all they think about or talk about. And I f---king don't care about that stuff in my relationships; I like to actually build a relationship on other things. But the conversation always f---king comes back to sex!"
MoP: "Isn't that a part of building the relationship?"
STG: "No! Because I don't want to f---king have sex with people I actually like. I only have sex with people I hate, people I f---king despise, so that I can just be done with it ..."
MoP: "Well ... I don't ... uh ... are you going to try to work things out with Lori?"
STG: "No, I'm never going to talk to that (b-word) again. We're done."
Silence.
MoP: "OK, well, we should get going."
Mind you, the conversation was not hushed. It was the loudest conversation in the restaurant. Louder than anything there, the dishes, the grill, the ambient music, everything. It was impossible to hear anything else. C-R-A-Z-Y.
What is so strange is how he almost had a healthy view of relationships, you know? It's not a bad idea to develop the relationship first before getting physical. About 99% of the time it's the best idea. But then he is also going out and seeking sex from women he knows he will despise and thinks all women are promiscuous. That's the disturbed and unhealthy part (in case you were wondering). I bet you I could write a screenplay based on this guy and get David Fincher to direct it.
In the same restaurant I saw a Diablo Cody doppleganger and was so close to congratulating her on her Oscar. I should have but, then again, I only like to congratulate people I really really hate.
February 25, 2008
Monday Joke: Birds
I figure if I can't think of something to confess, I'll put a joke here. This week it's my 3 year-old daughter Bella's turn to share some comedy. Enjoy.
Bella: Daddy, I have a joke.
Me: OK, let's hear it.
Bella: Why did the bird fly down into the water?
Me: I don't know, why?
Bella: Because it wanted to be a fish.
Happy Monday.
Bella: Daddy, I have a joke.
Me: OK, let's hear it.
Bella: Why did the bird fly down into the water?
Me: I don't know, why?
Bella: Because it wanted to be a fish.
Happy Monday.
February 22, 2008
A Half-assed Look at the Oscars
I love movies. I like the Oscars. It's fun to watch peers celebrate their work. Hell, if there were local actor/copywriter awards, I'd vote and attend. It'd be an honor just to be nominated. So I understand Hollywood's yearly festival and enjoy participating on some level.
This is why I offer up this movie-lover's version of the Oscar race.
Why label it half-assed? Well, because I am not a film critic, I didn't see all of the movies nominated and, while I like watching the show and reading bits leading up to it, I don't find much joy in prognosticating. I have friends who are good at it and I leave it to them. I do have an opinion, however. I don't care about sentimental favorites or who has the most buzz going into Sunday. Like my dad always said, "If you can't do something well or right or with enthusiasm, just do it half-assed." (He never said that.)
I have left out (for the most part) nominees and films I didn't see. They don't get consideration here. I saw many nominated films. Probably more than the average person. So going on what I saw only, here is what I would pick and why.
Performance by an actor in a leading role
Daniel Day-Lewis in "There Will Be Blood"
Johnny Depp in "Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"
Viggo Mortensen in "Eastern Promises"
Pardon the pun but Depp's performance felt a little one note. I still really enjoyed the movie it just isn't a best actor performance. I loved Viggo's. A lot. Probably the most consistently great performance here (gasp!) but Lewis had more unbelievably amazing moments scattered throughout TWBB and gets my pick.
Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Javier Bardem in "No Country for Old Men"
Hal Holbrook in "Into the Wild"
Holbrook was super. Bardem was epic. Bardem is my pick. Now would someone tell him to get OUT of my nightmares, please?!
Performance by an actress in a leading role
Laura Linney in "The Savages"
Ellen Page in "Juno"
This one is tough. Both are fine performances. But I enjoyed Page more even if Linney's movie was better. Page wins.
Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Saoirse Ronan in "Atonement"
Amy Ryan in "Gone Baby Gone"
I hated Ronan's character. She should get nominated for Best Villain at the MTV Movie awards. Serious. Little brat. Life destroyer. Ever hear of death-bed repentance? She was good though.
However, Amy Ryan made me feel like I was watching "Cops" or "Dr. Phil" or some reality program. She was sooooo gosh damn hell good in "Gone Baby Gone." This movie deserves more attention, viewers and credit. Rent the DVD.
Best animated feature film of the year
"Ratatouille"
"Surf's Up"
Shut the eff up, penguin movie. "Ratatouille" was so awesome it should have replaced "Juno" in the Best Picture category.
Achievement in art direction
"Atonement"
"Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"
"There Will Be Blood"
I'll give this one to "Atonement" because it seemed like the more challenging movie to art direct. They all looked great in this department so I really won't mind who wins.
Achievement in cinematography
"Atonement"
"No Country for Old Men"
"There Will Be Blood"It
For me, it's not TWBB. So, that leaves No Country and "Atonement" in a tie until ...
"Atonement" has that one following steady-cam shot that is amazing. And you know what? Once I became aware of the shot, I stopped watching what was happening in the story and started admiring the shot. A shot that takes a viewer out of a movie is rarely worth doing. Maybe a cinematographer out there can refute this. And I understand the budgetary, set-up and time concerns that led them to go with the shot in question but still ... it didn't keep me in the moment. My pick is No Country.
Achievement in costume design
"Atonement"
"Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"
The way I remember "Atonement" from a costume perspective is sundresses and uniforms. Sweeny gets my vote. Collen Atwood, the designer for Sweeny, is ALWAYS Oscar-worthy. She already has two or three under her belt.
Achievement in directing
"Juno"
"No Country for Old Men"
"There Will Be Blood"
Not "Juno," not even for .5 seconds. "No Country for Old Men" is more consistent, better-paced, and showed more restraint than TWBB. I love PT Anderson's movies but give it to No Country, please.
Side note: Does that director of "Diving Bell and the Butterfly" seem like a first-rate assjack to anyone else? Maybe I don't "get" his sense of "humor" but every interview I have seen or read makes him out to be a prick in my book.
Best documentary feature
"No End in Sight"
This movie is sitting on my counter in a Netflix envelope. I will watch it Saturday night. It is my pick. I hate Michael Moore. He can go Sucko himself. (Although, his movies are always really well put together and done well. I hate that paradox.)
Achievement in film editing
"The Bourne Ultimatum"
"Into the Wild"
"No Country for Old Men"
"There Will Be Blood"
You know why I can't pick the Bourne movie? And it's probably not the editors fault. But that scene when they are in the restaurant ... they still use Shaky Cam! They are sitting there at table and the camera is still all shaky. Loved the movie. Shaky Cam doesn't bother me when it has a point but, in the words of my wife while we watched that dinner moment, "Lock it down!"
"Into the Wild" was so good I cried. But how much of that was the editing and how much of it was Sean Penn punching me in the face? Jk. Jk.
Here we are again, No Country and TWBB. I pick No Country again because it felt more efficient and every frame of film seemed like it deserved to be there.
Achievement in makeup
"La Vie en Rose"
"Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End"
I didn't see Rose. But I saw the cover of a screener DVD. I'll give it to Rose because of that mostly because I currently hate anything that has to do with pirates or Pirates.
Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)
"Atonement"
"Ratatouille"
"3:10 to Yuma"
I prefer Yuma's score over Atonement and Ratatouille's over Yuma's. The rat movie gets it.
Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)
"Falling Slowly" from "Once"
There was not a better song in all of film all year. The moment this song happens in the movie is the moment I turn into a blubbering fool. And I'm fine with that.
Achievement in visual effects
"Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End"
"Transformers"
You mean those cars couldn't REALLY do that???
Adapted screenplay
"Atonement"
"No Country for Old Men"
"There Will Be Blood"
We thought "Atonement" had some adaptation and/or writing problems. So no thanks. The edge in the remaining two films goes to ... surprise! ... not, really ... No Country. It was engaging on more levels than TWBB. Inconsistency seems to be TWBB's biggest problem in my mind. It rises a little higher, at times, than No Country but dips often. No Country rises fast and stays there.
Original screenplay
"Juno"
"Lars and the Real Girl"
"Ratatouille"
"The Savages"
I wish I had seen Lars. I wish. Can I vote for it based on its trailer? No. I'll go with "Ratatouille" over the mature and heart-wrenching content of "The Savages" and the cute, snarky and unlikely dialogue of "Juno."
Best motion picture of the year
"Atonement"
"Juno"
"No Country for Old Men"
"There Will Be Blood"
Here we are. The finale. To me, there were movies better than both "Juno" and "Atonement" that weren't nominated here: Sweeny, the rat movie, "Into the Wild," "Gone Baby Gone," and "3:10 to Yuma." It's a shame, really. Not that I didn't like "Atonement" or "Juno." I did. I really enjoyed them. But the others I list each felt like better movies and had more of an impact on me than they did. They were seemed like they each achieved more.
But, in the end, even if any of those others had made it into contention, "No Country for Old Men" is my pick. Now ... if you were one of those people bothered by its ending or by certain people in it having certain outcomes, then you picked the wrong story and the wrong character to invest in. Sorry. Now, those of you who liked the movie take a minute to think long and hard about it. Ponder every element: the writing, the camera work, the editing, directing and acting. Think about how it looked. How it engaged you. How it made you feel from beginning to end. Really think about it. When I do this, I get only one internal response. There really wasn't a better film all year long.
Thanks for reading. Did I miss something? Do you disagree? What are your thoughts this Oscar season?
This is why I offer up this movie-lover's version of the Oscar race.
Why label it half-assed? Well, because I am not a film critic, I didn't see all of the movies nominated and, while I like watching the show and reading bits leading up to it, I don't find much joy in prognosticating. I have friends who are good at it and I leave it to them. I do have an opinion, however. I don't care about sentimental favorites or who has the most buzz going into Sunday. Like my dad always said, "If you can't do something well or right or with enthusiasm, just do it half-assed." (He never said that.)
I have left out (for the most part) nominees and films I didn't see. They don't get consideration here. I saw many nominated films. Probably more than the average person. So going on what I saw only, here is what I would pick and why.
Performance by an actor in a leading role
Daniel Day-Lewis in "There Will Be Blood"
Johnny Depp in "Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"
Viggo Mortensen in "Eastern Promises"
Pardon the pun but Depp's performance felt a little one note. I still really enjoyed the movie it just isn't a best actor performance. I loved Viggo's. A lot. Probably the most consistently great performance here (gasp!) but Lewis had more unbelievably amazing moments scattered throughout TWBB and gets my pick.
Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Javier Bardem in "No Country for Old Men"
Hal Holbrook in "Into the Wild"
Holbrook was super. Bardem was epic. Bardem is my pick. Now would someone tell him to get OUT of my nightmares, please?!
Performance by an actress in a leading role
Laura Linney in "The Savages"
Ellen Page in "Juno"
This one is tough. Both are fine performances. But I enjoyed Page more even if Linney's movie was better. Page wins.
Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Saoirse Ronan in "Atonement"
Amy Ryan in "Gone Baby Gone"
I hated Ronan's character. She should get nominated for Best Villain at the MTV Movie awards. Serious. Little brat. Life destroyer. Ever hear of death-bed repentance? She was good though.
However, Amy Ryan made me feel like I was watching "Cops" or "Dr. Phil" or some reality program. She was sooooo gosh damn hell good in "Gone Baby Gone." This movie deserves more attention, viewers and credit. Rent the DVD.
Best animated feature film of the year
"Ratatouille"
"Surf's Up"
Shut the eff up, penguin movie. "Ratatouille" was so awesome it should have replaced "Juno" in the Best Picture category.
Achievement in art direction
"Atonement"
"Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"
"There Will Be Blood"
I'll give this one to "Atonement" because it seemed like the more challenging movie to art direct. They all looked great in this department so I really won't mind who wins.
Achievement in cinematography
"Atonement"
"No Country for Old Men"
"There Will Be Blood"It
For me, it's not TWBB. So, that leaves No Country and "Atonement" in a tie until ...
"Atonement" has that one following steady-cam shot that is amazing. And you know what? Once I became aware of the shot, I stopped watching what was happening in the story and started admiring the shot. A shot that takes a viewer out of a movie is rarely worth doing. Maybe a cinematographer out there can refute this. And I understand the budgetary, set-up and time concerns that led them to go with the shot in question but still ... it didn't keep me in the moment. My pick is No Country.
Achievement in costume design
"Atonement"
"Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"
The way I remember "Atonement" from a costume perspective is sundresses and uniforms. Sweeny gets my vote. Collen Atwood, the designer for Sweeny, is ALWAYS Oscar-worthy. She already has two or three under her belt.
Achievement in directing
"Juno"
"No Country for Old Men"
"There Will Be Blood"
Not "Juno," not even for .5 seconds. "No Country for Old Men" is more consistent, better-paced, and showed more restraint than TWBB. I love PT Anderson's movies but give it to No Country, please.
Side note: Does that director of "Diving Bell and the Butterfly" seem like a first-rate assjack to anyone else? Maybe I don't "get" his sense of "humor" but every interview I have seen or read makes him out to be a prick in my book.
Best documentary feature
"No End in Sight"
This movie is sitting on my counter in a Netflix envelope. I will watch it Saturday night. It is my pick. I hate Michael Moore. He can go Sucko himself. (Although, his movies are always really well put together and done well. I hate that paradox.)
Achievement in film editing
"The Bourne Ultimatum"
"Into the Wild"
"No Country for Old Men"
"There Will Be Blood"
You know why I can't pick the Bourne movie? And it's probably not the editors fault. But that scene when they are in the restaurant ... they still use Shaky Cam! They are sitting there at table and the camera is still all shaky. Loved the movie. Shaky Cam doesn't bother me when it has a point but, in the words of my wife while we watched that dinner moment, "Lock it down!"
"Into the Wild" was so good I cried. But how much of that was the editing and how much of it was Sean Penn punching me in the face? Jk. Jk.
Here we are again, No Country and TWBB. I pick No Country again because it felt more efficient and every frame of film seemed like it deserved to be there.
Achievement in makeup
"La Vie en Rose"
"Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End"
I didn't see Rose. But I saw the cover of a screener DVD. I'll give it to Rose because of that mostly because I currently hate anything that has to do with pirates or Pirates.
Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)
"Atonement"
"Ratatouille"
"3:10 to Yuma"
I prefer Yuma's score over Atonement and Ratatouille's over Yuma's. The rat movie gets it.
Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)
"Falling Slowly" from "Once"
There was not a better song in all of film all year. The moment this song happens in the movie is the moment I turn into a blubbering fool. And I'm fine with that.
Achievement in visual effects
"Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End"
"Transformers"
You mean those cars couldn't REALLY do that???
Adapted screenplay
"Atonement"
"No Country for Old Men"
"There Will Be Blood"
We thought "Atonement" had some adaptation and/or writing problems. So no thanks. The edge in the remaining two films goes to ... surprise! ... not, really ... No Country. It was engaging on more levels than TWBB. Inconsistency seems to be TWBB's biggest problem in my mind. It rises a little higher, at times, than No Country but dips often. No Country rises fast and stays there.
Original screenplay
"Juno"
"Lars and the Real Girl"
"Ratatouille"
"The Savages"
I wish I had seen Lars. I wish. Can I vote for it based on its trailer? No. I'll go with "Ratatouille" over the mature and heart-wrenching content of "The Savages" and the cute, snarky and unlikely dialogue of "Juno."
Best motion picture of the year
"Atonement"
"Juno"
"No Country for Old Men"
"There Will Be Blood"
Here we are. The finale. To me, there were movies better than both "Juno" and "Atonement" that weren't nominated here: Sweeny, the rat movie, "Into the Wild," "Gone Baby Gone," and "3:10 to Yuma." It's a shame, really. Not that I didn't like "Atonement" or "Juno." I did. I really enjoyed them. But the others I list each felt like better movies and had more of an impact on me than they did. They were seemed like they each achieved more.
But, in the end, even if any of those others had made it into contention, "No Country for Old Men" is my pick. Now ... if you were one of those people bothered by its ending or by certain people in it having certain outcomes, then you picked the wrong story and the wrong character to invest in. Sorry. Now, those of you who liked the movie take a minute to think long and hard about it. Ponder every element: the writing, the camera work, the editing, directing and acting. Think about how it looked. How it engaged you. How it made you feel from beginning to end. Really think about it. When I do this, I get only one internal response. There really wasn't a better film all year long.
Thanks for reading. Did I miss something? Do you disagree? What are your thoughts this Oscar season?
February 4, 2008
Monday Confession: Suzanne Vega
Happy Monday, all.
One of my favorite CDs of the 1990s was 99.9 F° by Suzanne Vega. And I don't mean it in the way that means I sometimes took it out and played it on Saturdays while I did laundry or occasionally listened to it in my car and so now I have fond memories and consider it a favorite. No. Not like that.
What I mean is that for a period of about two years, I listened to that CD at least once a week. And then one day I never listened to it again. I would bet that less than five of my closest friends ever knew I even did this. This situation would be considered a true "guilty pleasure" because I enjoyed her music but would feel ashamed if my "cool" friends found out about it. (I don't care what people think about my music taste now. It's a big whateva these days.)
I would probably never name 99.9 F° on a "Favorite Albums of the 90s" list but if I had to make a list based on total minutes listened, this one would show up near the top. I don't know why I liked it so much! Still. To this day. And it's not like she isn't cool. She is way cool. But cool enough for a man in his late 20s to obsessively listen to one of her lesser albums for years? No. No. No.
I used to be able to sing along to almost every track and recollect that my favorite songs were:
Blood Makes Noise - "So just forget it doc. I think it's really cool that you're concerned but we'll have to try again after the silence has returned."
When Heroes Go Down - "When heroes go down, they go down fast so don't expect any time to equivocate the past."
99.9 F - "It could be normal but it isn't quite. Could make you want to stay awake at night."
The best part? The CD came out in 1992 but I didn't "get into" it until probably 1996-98. Lay-hame.
But I just found out recently that she released a new album last year after an 11 year break and my heart leapt. I'll have to check it out.
What are some of the CDs you listened to ALL the time that maybe your friends never knew about ... your true guilty pleasures?
One of my favorite CDs of the 1990s was 99.9 F° by Suzanne Vega. And I don't mean it in the way that means I sometimes took it out and played it on Saturdays while I did laundry or occasionally listened to it in my car and so now I have fond memories and consider it a favorite. No. Not like that.
What I mean is that for a period of about two years, I listened to that CD at least once a week. And then one day I never listened to it again. I would bet that less than five of my closest friends ever knew I even did this. This situation would be considered a true "guilty pleasure" because I enjoyed her music but would feel ashamed if my "cool" friends found out about it. (I don't care what people think about my music taste now. It's a big whateva these days.)
I would probably never name 99.9 F° on a "Favorite Albums of the 90s" list but if I had to make a list based on total minutes listened, this one would show up near the top. I don't know why I liked it so much! Still. To this day. And it's not like she isn't cool. She is way cool. But cool enough for a man in his late 20s to obsessively listen to one of her lesser albums for years? No. No. No.
I used to be able to sing along to almost every track and recollect that my favorite songs were:
Blood Makes Noise - "So just forget it doc. I think it's really cool that you're concerned but we'll have to try again after the silence has returned."
When Heroes Go Down - "When heroes go down, they go down fast so don't expect any time to equivocate the past."
99.9 F - "It could be normal but it isn't quite. Could make you want to stay awake at night."
The best part? The CD came out in 1992 but I didn't "get into" it until probably 1996-98. Lay-hame.
But I just found out recently that she released a new album last year after an 11 year break and my heart leapt. I'll have to check it out.
What are some of the CDs you listened to ALL the time that maybe your friends never knew about ... your true guilty pleasures?
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"... you need to rush as quickly as possible through your sides, as not to waste the director's time by having any real moments."
True. I mean the director has better things to do than audition people. Hurry it along! He probably precast the show anyway. Also, I like to not only go fast but never look up from the sides as well. Thanks for the tip, Hailey!
Emmie said ...
"When deciding between fighting against emotion and crying, always choose crying. The more you can cry during an audition piece, scene, or play, the better! Crying is very dramatic, and shows the director and audience how good you are (at crying)."
My hot wife Amelia said ...
"... actors should always go out of their way to help out in other departments, when on set. And if you ask, "Can I help you steam those curtains?" or "Can I help you carry those stingers?" and the answer comes back a hearty "NO!" then don't listen and pitch right in without hesitation."
I love this woman. Also, she is dead on. In film, everyone just shares each others' jobs. Unions be damned. Am I right? So, feel free to pick up a sandbag and move it. Just be ready for the grip to come along and tell you that your scene could be faster and have more crying.